Writing when it feels like you can't

I've taken a hiatus from posting on this blog for almost a full month. 

There was no particular reason, either. I have multiple drafts of new posts waiting in the queue - half-finished, unpolished ramblings that may perhaps fit with the style of this blog after the addition of some words, the rearrangement of commas. I know that eventually, they will be up here, ready to read for whomever is looking, but lately, writing - a thing that has always given me solace and comfort - is becoming harder and harder to do. 

Part of it is certainly the stress associated with it, that quote about Shakespeare writing King Lear during his quarantine adding pressure to already neurotic writers everywhere. I am not William Shakespeare, and while I don't know what else he did in quarantine, I can assume he didn't have to do much housework, maintain laundry, and cook the meals for the household. I also know that our dear friend William certainly didn't have Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime, all screaming at him with their newest releases waving like the frantic inflatable men in front of car dealerships. I can safely deduce that he wasn't scouring job postings having been let go from the school where he loved to teach. I am doing all of this, and I'm supposed to write, too?

Even without the pressure to create something magnificent, the regular pressures are still there, and still just as demanding as usual. Chores, grocery shopping, staff meetings (albeit virtual), mandatory time with family, date night via video chat. All of these things often cut into writing time to begin with; now, they are more precious and attractive than they've ever been. Driving to Dunkin' Donuts for an iced coffee with the windows rolled down, a slight breeze, the sun forcing a squint as you turn the corner now feels like a magical journey back to normalcy.

I know the world is far from normal, and a return to it is still far away, but I am lucky that writing is like an old friend. I can return to it after a long break, and it is like nothing has changed, no time has passed at all. When I am ready, the words will welcome me back with open arms, taking me in their tight embrace, reminding me of their love, their kindness, their comfort. With them wrapped around me, I will be okay.